Friday, October 31, 2014.
I am fortunate... Sometimes issues arise with the building that only true experts can solve.  With the roof, I can not nor should I try to 'wing it' or I can 'learn on the fly'.  Nope, the roof is practically sacred.  Oddly the foundation of the health of the building relies not in the basement, rather it sits upon the roof repair.  There can be no compromise.  As I told someone today, I can do it once as close to perfection with the best people I can find.  Once.  No corners cut because I will not bargain with the good vibe of the building.  That roof has to be done once.  If I always have to look over my shoulder, wondering 'did I do the best I could', then, without a doubt, I will be faced with doing a roof twice.  That scenario I will not set up for myself. 
I can 'wing it' when it comes to glazing windows.  A roof?  A roof covering 21,000 square feet of wondrous brick spaciousness?  Nope.  And gladly too.
Since I will use the building commercially, I need a structural engineer to determine which joists or rafters or wood trusses need replacement.  At first I was scared, until a succession of three or four phone calls and a boatload of help and advice, led me to....a structural engineer who will do just that.  On Monday.  This Monday.
I could not believe it.  The materials and the people are set for Monday to begin work.  I just stared off into space for a few minutes when all the appointments and arrangements were made.  My mind whirled.  "Do you know how close you came to a shut down of the project?" (I am learning to indulge myself of 'what if' scenarios briefly.  Then, a person has to wipe it off the hands.  It is a balance between thanking God for good fortune (hence the 'what ifs') and being able to turn away from the near mishaps.  A person has to keep rolling.
The snow caused no damage other than melting throughout the day onto the upper level floor.  Oh!  Today was also the first time I needed to salt the sidewalk.  I may put the brakes on the dream of watching the snowstorms from inside the building.  Snow this early in the season would slow down if not halt the roof repair.  Fantasies of snow shoveling.... on hold!

**I do find myself daydreaming about two things:  1) Vapor barriers.  I wonder about ventilation and vapor barriers with the roof;  and 2) HVAC.  What will it be like, to hear a boiler start-up or air circulation fans?  I was standing outside at the time, but a sound startled me as I thought 'oh the boilers... you have none...'. It was one of those moments that surely will become one of a future brush of déjà vu.  A person just knows it.  I could hear it... Like a breath of life...

But, one small beautiful dream did come true.  My first trick o'treaters.  Matthias' first Halloween.  Hallow's Eve.  All Soul's.  Reformation.
Fun.

Thank you.  Thank you. Happiness, Love and Blessings.

~stephanie

Thursday, October 30, 2014
He smells differently.  The air was different - it was the first thing I noticed walking in the door.  Actually that is not true.  The first noticeable change today by Matthias was the enormous blue lift parked in the alley.  It's huge!  I had envisioned something quite a bit smaller until I got to thinking:  Not only does a person need to lift themselves, but also tools and cement.  (I laugh).  No.  Although I had dreams of renting a lift to seal the second floor windows, I won't do it.  Oh man, though, I really really would love to give it a try.  The lift looks big enough to be stable enough to counterbalance the weight of my.... inexperience.
No.  Tempting.  But no.  I am challenged enough by the realization I need a taller ladder in order to work on the main level windows.  And, with the reminder of the coming season provided by the current white sleet mixture which is currently falling here, I think I have enough on my docket.
Enough of my dreams of carpentry grandeur!  The smell!  I was talking about the smell!
Opening the door and walking in ~ it hit me.  This fresh wood smell. Yum!  It fit too, you know?  There are some odors which should never belong with other sensory experiences.  For example.... Fish.  Fish and lemon?  Yes.  Fish and.... oh, I don't know.... Fish and sewer smell? No.
I digress.
The wood sheeting for the roof had arrived and was stacked against the wall.  What a great smell - fresh and earthy.  But there was something more.  The air felt different.  I thought to myself that maybe it is the building being opened during the day. 
I went upstairs.  Actually I laid down on a pile of rubble, wondering is the upstairs a 'living' sort of place?  I mean, just because I may put in apartments does not necessarily mean it could be homey.  I can label the spaces upstairs anyway I want to, but does the building or could it ever feel cozy and warm and snuggle and 'forget the world' type of place?
The answer? Yep.  Even on top of a pile of rubble.  Just give me a blankie and a pillow.  The space upstairs felt nice.  And when it comes to 'home', nice is perfect.
Before you start thinking or actually questioning my reasoning, let me add:  It is because I do some goofy things that I notice other things. For example, while pondering the upstairs spaces I was admiring the rafters, but I noticed the light from the sky in places previously unlit.
Time to investigate.
In the northwest corner of the building the roofers have begun to peel away the layers of the old roof sheeting.  The heavy upstairs air could now escape - through the roof!  Even those rafters and the beams surrounding them in the next two rooms - they looked drier.  It smelled.... fresh.
Magic.
Of course life being what it is, I now see full-fledged snow outside.  I will rest on those worries.  Tomorrow.

Oh - it is a glorious feeling - to be able to look someone in the eye - squarely - saying "Follow your heart.  Your brain will figure it out.  Follow your heart.". I thank God for this path every day.

Oh - lesson from building today?  I guess I need to smile more.  I don't need to be a grouch, yes?

Happy Halloween. Thank you.

Love and Blessings
~stephanie

Even looking at the photo...I still have urges to operate it... "no, steph, no..no, steph, no...."
(laughing)

Wednesday, October 29, 2014.
Quite a day, today.  Indeed.  I picked up two new 11 1/4 " by 22" panes of double thick window glass.  I can hardly wait to finish them!  Remember those days and weeks of waiting and wondering and hoping and worrying?  Well, it seems all work is coming together.  I cannot.... well, I just have to pinch myself!  On top of the roof materials arriving, the roofers coming Monday, the construction company working any day now and the mason coming on Friday.... Well, my glass for the doors has arrived, with the installation due tomorrow or today, depending upon your time reference. 
Thursday.
I think he seemed a bit shocked when I said I will leave them unobstructed (no curtains) so that passersby can look inside.  I want (and ok, I will say it.... the building wants!) him to be seen!  He is so handsome and incredible and built and one and one-half foot thick solid brick walls!
Did I mention ever how awestruck I am that this building, the Matthias Building, has stood unused for fifty years? Stood.  Took the weather.  Stood.
Stood.  Stood.... Stands....
He stands...
Yep.

Cornerstone.

Thank you!  Love and Blessings

~Stephanie

Tuesday, October 28, 2014.
Walking this afternoon, I paused... confused at the sight of a semi-truck parked next to the building.  My mind just could not register that there is indeed a truck parked next to the building!  Delivery!  Not only had the roofing materials arrived from Michigan, but parked in my vacant lot were a huge contractor-sized dumpster and the construction company's tool and supply trailer. (I sort of flipped out from the excitement!)
By the time I checked tonight all of the roof was tucked neatly inside.  It was like Christmas - I cried, then giggled.  Really giggled.  Really, really giggled.  Then cried some more because here it was:  the dream, what I had worked for, the break point, the major point of the first phase of renovations.

The roofing materials stacked inside... Christmas early!!!


The new roof plus interior roof fixes and the roof drain piping means no more leaks!  I cannot believe we are here.  We made it!  Today the mason called - he will be here on Friday.  My doors' glass awaits installation and.....I believe I have a great deal to do this winter!

Miracles...  Hard work, good people, and ..... miracles..

Thank you.

Love and Blessings
~stephanie

Monday, October 27, 2014.
I am finding a truth in that beauty is defined a great deal by the edges... where things meet - the wood frames to the brick, for example.  So, while I am priming the third set of Main Street windows I start to dig out between exactly those two materials.  The more I dig out old caulk which after all these years has turned to blackened dust under painted skin.  I immediately thought "this is like digging in a person's belly button!". Ew.  I apologize, but it was like picking out belly button fuzz ~ indescribable and undefined and wishing to remain as such, except necessary to remove, thank you very much.
TMI.  Got it.
I do not wish to keep the windows painted white, but I have to say, the impact of fresh paint against the red brown brick is stunning.  Handsome.
Tomorrow the interior work of the roof repairs begin.
Here we go, Matthias.  Here we go.

Thank you.  Love and Blessings...
~stephanie

Sunday, October 26, 2014.
So many people have stopped while I work.... they notice the results of my efforts... so, as I berate myself for 1) proceeding with window primer painting before glazing (seems out of order, but it is a matter of 'beat the falling temperatures) or 2) not a better job generally;  peoples' comments and questions cause me to step back from the work.  It's a good thing - the old "looking at the forest versus the tree".  Balance.  Always a question of balance. Or perspective.  Maybe a balanced perspective?
Could be.
Speaking of which, it is time to invest in a taller ladder as a stretch last night wobbled the ladder while I perched on the second to top rung.  It was the rung on which the warning label is placed by the manufacturer in big bold letters.  Surely I am not the only one who ignores such signs with the smug justification that 'at least I am not standing on top of the ladder.'
Not good.  Not good at all.  I must have a guardian angel (overworked!) because it was enough of a teeter to get my attention but not one of such degree as to send me either to the pavement or dangling from the windows' hardware.
One more set of windows is primed at least well enough to slow the decay of wood underneath, preserve some of the window structure until next spring, and well, to be blunt, make him look spiffy!  Handsome. 
A local history buff stopped with notes detailing the past on West Main Street.  He also showed me a postcard from 1912 which may provide evidence that Matthias was already built.  From the angle of the buildings and the portrayal of the street on the postcard, it is difficult to tell.  More research is definitely needed!  It was all so cool...

Here's to a wonderful week!  Thank you.

Love and Blessings

~stephanie

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Fins.
I primed the alley door and one window this evening.  As our days of fifty degrees or greater, get less and less possible, I am reprioritizing.  (Why did I not think of this earlier? I guess a person only 'gets there' when they get there...) Perhaps I should paint before glazing because putty can be applied in forty degree weather.

What else did I learn today? I discovered why it is not a wise practice to carry nails in the front pocket of ones jeans.

Wisdom comes as one learns about ones fins..... if one wishes to swim...

Thank you!

Love and Blessings
~stephanie

Friday, October 24, 2014
Nothing today, building-wise...except while picking sheet metal for a temporary fix, I saw...sheeted copper.
Have you ever been inspired by a sheet of beautiful copper? Metals...earthy in color, warm..
Sheet metal and looking at solar lights, solar panels. Is it possible I wonder to run heat tape for roof drain piping with solar power? Check the wattage, Steph. Check the voltage. Possible....
......
It is time, is it not?

Happy Weekend!
Thank you!
Love and Blessings,
~stephanie

Thursday, October 23, 2014.
Hello!  Signage, a beginning, my way!

Signage, my way..Just seeing the name together, physically, with the building structure itself, feels not quite like a step forward, but more a feeling of leaning forward.  (Leaning forward, while figuring what that next step will be).
Impact of the roof news?  Well the answer to that question is many fold.  For example, reality is that the wonderful wonderful news of the coming roof repairs (the materials have been ordered - can you believe it?!), come the necessary peripheral repairs.  I was prepared for most of them - the brickwork on the chimney (check - got it) and the interior rafters and carpentry work (check, check - got that one too)..... but then came the news (yep, you knew there would be one 'oh, oh') that the roof drains would need to be looked at.  And a reality check again because it is not like a person has a checklist.  This development resulted from the question, "I wonder about the roof drain pipes.... three roof drains, where are the pipes?"
Laugh.  Go ahead.  Shake your head in disbelief.  And a person has to laugh.  Albeit nervously, but there is no alternate to fixing it.  A person has to look at it only as another solution is needed.  My goal was the roof.  Roof it is.  Roof.
Anyway, tracing the pipes from the roof drains led to cracked pipe, another pipe behind a repaired brick wall section and last - this is the good one - the third pipe, or rather question of its condition resulted in the answer.." what pipe?"
Call a plumber.
Gulp.
Not that there is nothing wrong with plumbers, but I did not have this "solution" on my horizon.  He has been a godsend, to tell you the truth because he has called the city works department to find out where the water pipe, sewer, and runoff piping (? - storm sewer?) are located.
*sigh*
I call this a 'character building' or 'learning' opportunity.  I did not even swear.  Out loud.  What do you do?  Will it cost?  Yes, it will.  But my theory is this:  I can do this once, as best as I can.  I cannot afford to repair a roof, then ignore major problems, only to backtrack to do it all again.  Once.  As best as I can.
Talk about learning on the fly though!  I could be scared at the danger of it all because I get nervously close to disaster, but I am not.  I have great people working on these major parts of the building.  I am learning!
I am loving this time of the renovation!  What is the impact of the roof?  I find myself returning to the work of the business - at least in my head.  I have not even thought about any practical business matters since I have owned the building as the real preservation work involved in the phase agreement with the city took precedence.
Now I can dream of five year plans, business plans, taxes, designs, city codes, and above all.... what do I see, what do I really want..... five years down the road?  How do I get there?
And then, I write out, for the first time, his name on a sign....
Matthias.  The Lucky One.
Actually, I am the lucky one.  I do not know why I have been so blessed with such a journey, but I have.
Time to dream.

Thank you!
Love and Blessings.
~stephanie

Wednesday, October 22, 2014.
Glazing windows... Now, why is it, that I had planned on painting the door, never intending to do windows, but when I did....I think I am glazing pretty doggone good.  Seriously.  That makes me chipper.  Speaking of chipper though, I cracked another window.  So one step forward, one back.  Actually two back because I am going to order another pane for a scratched window which I know will drive me crazy every time I look at it if I do not replace it. 
The window work is incredibly satisfying, but I question if it is the windows now or the windows plus the fact that the roof is scheduled and the other fact that ahead of me lies a forecast of fifty and sixty degree temperatures.   Massive work to be done!
Glazing, caulking and painting.  Oh! And, patching concrete.  I mean, why not?
**********
 Whoa.  Tiredness just rolled over me. 
I wish I had pictures to share, but I do not.  (You would think I would learn   yesterday nine pictures.  I should spread them over a few days, but I get so excited to share them, I cannot coyly talk about the building, take photos, then not create.  Impossible.
Oh, I ache....
Perhaps I should...
Slumber...

Thank you.
Love and Blessings
~Stephanie

Tuesday, October 21, 2014.

I wondered, the past few days, if he were still alive, what my father would be thinking, if he knew I was repairing this building, the old vocational technical school.  Near the end, we would watch antique hunter type television shows and all those pawn shop type shows.  I bet now, he is just shaking his head.  On one hand, he would have tried to steer me away from doing it, wishing me not to get hurt (not physically, but internally.... you know, have my heart broken if it did not succeed or work out as planned.  He was the quintessential 'Plan B / take it light' guy).  Now though, knowing what he would be knowing?  No, he would still be cautioning me..... but then...I can picture him, his pointer figure to his lips in thought.  He would give me advice.  And it would be in the form of "Have you thought about what color door you're going to paint?". Or better yet (and I still have not solved this one):  "Flag pole.  An armory needs a flag pole.  Where is the flag?".
Yeah, Pop.  I know.
Then he would ask about the roof.  "Who's going to do it?  You are NOT going to do it yourself.". I would tell him, then he would have a story about the roofer's mom whom he probably had taught in school.  I would show him pictures from on top, denying the whole time I was up there so as not to worry him. Then we would laugh.  Yep, I think...I think he would be slyly proud.  And I would tell him my adventures...
It's funny though, life.  Had he been alive, I probably would not have done it, for a variety of reasons.  None of them valid.  The timing of life confounds me sometimes.  Its mystery awes me;  its grandeur is humbling.  All these thoughts tonight as I sanded the door...
The building and I?  We are going to make it.  The roof changes everything.
A miracle. An over-the-top and twice over-the-moon miracle.  I better start believing in them.  For some reason, I think the building is trying to tell me
"You ain't seen nothing yet.."
Now.
Now the business begins. 
A roof.  Changes everything.

Thank you.
Love and Blessings,
stephanie

Monday, October 20, 2014.
Whoa.  The past few days have my head spinning. Did I mention the craftsmen sent a drawing of the proposed carriage doors?  Yes!  Then, if that development was not enough, the roofer called!  I panic.  Perhaps he as changed his mind?  He does not want to do it? 
No. No, not at all.  We meet at the building.  Talk about the project.  Talk about the interior work needed on the rafters (is that what they are called?).  He tells me roofing stories.  And even though we both have signed a contract stating he will work on the Matthias building roof (I love calling it that!), I still do not bank on it happening.  Contracts are broken all the time.  Things change.  Maybe he changed his mind - after all, it is a huge roof needing a great deal of attention.  A mason needs to tuck point the big chimney before the roof is installed.  Carpenters need to work alongside the roofers to repair the interior rafters.  Did I mention there is no electricity?  All generator-power.  All.  It is not a straight shot job at all.
The good news is that there are no systems or interior to protect.  They can rip the existing roof off without worrying about interior damage. (Well, to a point, but you know what I mean).  Plus, as I have experienced quite a few times now, you cannot help but fall in love with the building.  Everyone wants to save it.  There is something about 'him'.
Additionally, I think, again to my surprise, that the challenge of working on a building like this one might be unique in itself.  A Matthias might come along only once in a lifetime!
(Now I am daydreaming - STOP!)
Back to the story.  We are on the roof, I am so excited about the possibility of the roof really happening, I cannot even think straight.  Seriously.  I know I am supposed to be all business-like, but really?  Internally, I am used to myself like this.  I know the business mind will kick in when it needs to.  And, as long as I do not sign anything, I am ok!  Beyond that though, I have to experience the excitement of it.  Why should I not?  Why should I not be so bleeping excited.....
<technical difficulties... Monday 10/20>
Added:  Tuesday, October 21.
The photos!!

Pumpkins ~ What is not to love?

Thanking God..

The roofer's mark ~ I knew it was a go!

Roof!

Roof!

On the roof!

Roof - the underbelly - Gorgeous! Why?  Because every stick of wood and every piece of metal is there for a reason..

On the way.... planking to the roof hatch..Look at the steel truss!!

Ladder... steel truss... It is all so beautiful... oops, handsome.

Thank you.
Love and Blessings.
~stephanie

Sunday October 19, 2014
Power outage! Blast it all! (I had much to share). Perhaps tonight the universe is telling me "Shhh. Just savor it. Quiet."
Rats!
Maybe it is a night to dream under starry skies (look for the Orionids)!
Thank you...
Love and Blessings!
(Hint: I made it! Matthias and I made it! Correction:  I believe that for some reason I am given a chance to continue this journey.)
I really believe...the journey actually is now beginning...
~stephanie

Saturday, October 18, 2014
Hi.
An odd twist of fate that earlier this morning, I was writing notes about scurrying which led me to think of 'squirrel' moments.  You know?  I used to believe I had the attention span of a gnat due to a habit of random scattering of thoughts midstream, midway, and generally in the middle - squirrel.  See?

Anyway, I am writing notes about how, on this Saturday I was declaring an end to scurrying.  Hurrying is ok, but panic induced scurrying as a squirrel. No.

An odd twist of fate because I had a live gargoyle in the wall above the alley door at the building this morning.  You guessed it.  "Squirrel".  (As if I needed a reminder).

Unlocking the alley door, looking up.... what?!?  "Squirrel."



Giving me the vulture look! Gargoyle!
 

 

Later....a slice of bread....I kid you not.  A slice of bread sticking out of the bricks..

 

 Notes on the building.  Scraping, early morning.  Broke a window.  Ordered the replacement pane, then installed it.  Nailed the third board edging (did NOT swear... out loud anyway..).  Glazed six panes.  Wood filler on door, then the window sill (might have been too damp inside the sill wood, but I cannot do any harm to the piece.  Hopefully it lasts through the winter.  Has to.

As I was fixing the alley door, my neighbor brought me a rag rug to sit upon or kneel upon as I work.
Kindness.

Kindness of neighbor.

Smiles...

Pumpkin.

 

Patching the door.




And, I saw an eagle...
Thank you!
Love and Blessings.
Always.

stephanie

 

 

 

 

Friday, October 17, 2014.
Fifteen minutes of scraping.  That is it... But man oh man, just that little bit of time was heavenly!  The main level is already drying from the rains - in fact, surprisingly so.

Even though I drive by the building all the time, there are times yet when it does not seem real;  Not until I stop to take a look inside or to keep working on it.  The vision I have of it - the dream!

I am thankful for a chance at my dream.  And I am glad I can actively work on it.... and the people who have helped me...

Tonight I learned that I need to glaze windows not caulk.  Glaze = putty on wood frames.  Caulking okay for the metal frames.  I am glad there are people who say "hey, are you sure you want to do it that way?"

By the way - the primer coat for stopping the peeling - it is to die for!  Seriously!  (Perhaps I should refrain from using such expressions.. hmm..)

I will keep plugging away... it is the elephant theory.

Happy Weekend!  Love and Blessings..

Thank you,
stephanie

Thursday, October 16, 2014
I have a funny feeling.  Another one!  No really.  Starting out a person has this idea of how repairs and improvements are going to go - you know, schedules and such.  Just when I get a bit worried outside of my own 'standard deviations' of comfort zone, then I hear from contractors.  Instead of the steady flow of work I had imagined, I now picture everything coming together.... all at once.  Not a complaint.  Not at all.  I just had this idea in my head of seeing the roof, then the windows, then the door, then the garage door:  Slow improvements revealing more and more of the vision.  Changing, improving the vision as we go along, the building and I.
(The carriage doors!!  News on the carriage doors!!)
I am looking forward to getting back to work on the windows this weekend - I am loving the result of the primer coat on the first set of windows!

What will it be like, I wonder, working on budgets and finances.... under a new roof?  (I might not have heat right away, but it will be dry!  What WILL that be like, not worrying about the roof? 

(Smiling).  It will be good.

Good.

Thank you.

Love and Blessings,
Stephanie

Ps.  Another lesson from the building:  Maybe to stand, as bricks stand,..... well, taking care of oneself might be...  No, even for me, that analogy is a stretch...  I tried.

Laughing!

Wednesday, October 15.
I apologize.  I promised a daily update to all things 'building', but I am .... sick, to be blunt.  Funny how scraping and looking at roof rafters and all the rest....seems quite heavenly right now.
Take care,
BRB (well, tomorrow anyway...)
Love and Blessings,
Thank you.
~stephanie

Tuesday, October 14, 2014
If anyone had told me that I would be writing about part of this story being a repaired lawnmower, well, let's just say I would have scuffed or puffed at the notion!  But yes, today's news is that the lawnmower which came with the building has been repaired!  Fun and bizarre at the same time.  Why does it make me so happy? I don't know at all, but it really does.  Maybe it is the feeling of knowing I am doing all that I can.  No regrets.
Rain?  Seems like the building has grown more ponds on the inside than ever before.   Good news?  My new shelf is placed in the driest part of the main level.  Bad news?  Work bench, not so much.

Odd though... today, despite the rain and the indoor ponds, I feel incredibly hopeful.  "I just have this funny feeling," I have been known to say generally.  Today, I say it Again.  

"I just have this funny feeling about the building."

"I cannot not go forward.  I have to.  I have to know...."

Love and Blessings....

Thank you!

~stephanie

 

Monday, October 13, 2014
No work on the building today, at least not on-site.  Rain today and as always - I panic, just a bit, even though I realize there is nothing I can do but wait.  And hope.  And pray.  I know there is the whole thing about 'if it is God's plan, then...', but I have to admit to my failing.  I really, really, really want to know what the building will be like, with a roof to keep it dry on the inside.  What will it become?  What will I become in the process?  Where is this path of he and I heading?  Will we make it? And on and on go my questions.  Then I settle down to the fact that 'whatever will be, will be' or better stated:  "If it is God's plan... just do your best and let the path unfold.". Takes me a bit to get there, but eventually I do.
Yesterday's window work has held up!  There was really no reason it shouldn't, but I cannot help the slightest nightmarish sight in my imagination of driving up to see caulk and primer paint oozing to the ground because they did not set properly.
Nope. All good.

He is quite handsome, is he not?  Still standing.  Roof, still there.  Leaking? Yes, to be sure, but we live on.  I know, I know.  How many times do you have to repeat this process, Steph?  I know, I know.  But call it what you will, I cannot help it and it is the honest to God truth.  Every rain I hold my breath.  Last winter, every snow (and we had some doozies) I would check on it, half panicking, half looking for some sign that the building and I - a journey together - was not meant to be.
The roof had always been my benchmark, my line in the sand, if you will.  The cost of replacing a collapsed roof along with damages it may cause to the other parts of the building structure I knew was something I could not handle - either emotionally or financially.
Roof.  Roof. Roof.  I wonder what it will be like, when the roof goes on....

Reminiscing about the journey and worrying about the roof did cause me to look at my collection of paperwork from the summer.  I wonder at why the summer's work was paperwork and meetings...  I have not looked at the papers in what seems like forever.  So I check:  the roofing contract proposal I signed with a down payment on the ninth of July.  (yep, over a month prior to my actual ownership).  Risky, but I had to. 

Even now, this early in the journey, the roof contract and looking at it now causes me to grin and shake my head in disbelief.  Want to talk to a roofer?  No, scratch that - the roofer?  Well, you can if you climb up on the roof he is working on.  Scared of heights? He asked.  No. Nope.  I will be there.  And then he shows me the roof, his trade, his workmanship.  How could I not climb up there?

On July 4th, on the holiday itself, we climb up on the roof of my building.  Walk just where I walk, he instructs.  Definitely, I had thought.  Over the ridge of the peak of the roof and out to the sides.  Stay away from there, he points out.  Yep, definitely.  And I have to admit - it was a blast!  Scary, but there I was.  (I wanted so badly to look over the side by the chimney.  There was no reason to, but I crawled.  I figured I was pushing my luck!  But to sit, back against the wall, looking around at rooftops and over the side, in the summer. Oh!  Nothing like it!). As the song goes, "What a wild trip it's been."

I look over the paperwork stating the city's and my agreement, the conditions of the sale of the building.  These two pieces of paper dated June 25.  And they are not just two pieces of paper.  Today I look at them to check the conditions of the phasing of the improvements.  I have been so focused on Phase I which is due January 1, 2015, that I had not really given to much thought to Phase II.  Driving today, after looking at the building in the rain, wondering what it will be like when the roof is on, my head jumped to thoughts of the next phase.  What will it be like to have ten months of time to plan and work?

Heaven.  Heaven I tell you.  The next phase is window replacement on both street sides by October 2015. (Right now, as I write, I am imagining and am pretty sure I will be dreaming about it while I .... sweep!!). I also dream of the ecstasy of a dumpster alongside the building during the winter so that I can start clearing the bigger pieces of cinder block and old ceiling tiles.  Heaven times two.

Oh, back to the agreement with the city!  I look at those papers, remembering meetings.  Speaking at city government meetings.  Working on proposals and plans.  I cannot believe it. I just shake my head in disbelief. Timing.  Paperwork signed with the city only after they released the then current owner from obligations to demolition the building.  The City Council had to... no, it was the Common Council.... no, it was the Council at Large (?)....oh, wait, plus it was meetings with the Redevelopment Authority committee... in order to work out the plan.  Seriously.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined a) the necessity of meetings in order to buy the building and especially b) me ever being at such meetings.

I found there really was good reason for all those steps.  (I am not a meeting person, you know?). I never knew about zoning and building codes.  Still don't.  Not entirely at least.  I know some of them.  Most importantly:  I know I need to know and I know where to find the answers as I go along.  For example, I did not know I do not need building permits if I am improving an existing structure.  Add on?  Yep, then I do.  The list goes on and on....  Tax districts.  Car counts.  Parking restrictions and allowances.  I have to say:  Pretty bleeping cool.

Sigh.

For now?  I scrape.  I caulk.  I paint.  And I really have to learn how to cut glass.  But as I do, I dream of...... Parking allowances, Phase II windows, and the coming heavenly work of tossing cinderblock in a handy dumpster!

Life is grand.

....Roof....roof...roof...

Thank you.

Love and Blessings and good dreams....

~stephanie
PS.  Almost forgot ~ with the paperwork and the summer?  Learning how to be bonded, performance bond... aka "what happens if you do not meet the phases" ....  It was like planning to fail. "What? A contingency for failure?". Not.a.motivational.moment.  But reality...  With the experience of the bonding insurance (by the way, never came through... had to cover potential expenses another way), brought the lesson of "how badly do you want this?". And that question grew into "how will you feel if you don't?".  And that question morphed into - finally - "what is in your heart?  Is this a path of heart?". Yep.  It was quite a summer.

Sunday, October 12, 2014
The building... so.... perfect..
Real progress!  I began the afternoon feeling positive - but there is a difference between my feelings and the state of progress (aka reality check).  The best thing to do?  Pause, think, then dive in!  I scraped and sanded.  Caulked (the messiest job ever, but I kept thinking to myself that I needed to keep moving, not perfectly, but perhaps 85%...And you know what?  It is going to be just fine - because I am going to get it done)!
Then - OH!  And I mean the hugest of huge 'Oh!'s'.  This primer which stops the peeling of paint - goopy, yes... fun to paint with?  Most definitely!  It will dry to a white finish while protecting the wood underneath.  After all the sanding I could not leave it bare to the elements overnight.  Not with the rain which is supposed to arrive here shortly and had threatened the last few hours of my work today with intermittent sprinkles. 
The change in appearance of the windows is startling. White, white, white with the bricks... not much feels better than stepping back to take a look, expecting that the primer coat will make the windows look cared for, but never ever expecting to be blown away by the difference.  Not only does it look good and protect the wood, but the white of the primer on those frames was like looking through the key hole... I could see what would be ahead.  It was the first time I felt the 'bringing back' rather than the constant drumbeat of scraping away and getting rid of.
I felt the hope of putting back together, of restoration, and of... well, sprucing it up.

Sometimes all a person needs..... is a little primer!

Happiness...

Thank you.  Love and Blessings!

~Stephanie

PS.  Lesson today from the building?  1) Be outside!  It has gotten me outside more than I have been in years... 2) The joy of people!  I would be remiss if I did not mention the loveliness of friends.... everyone.. Thank You..

Saturday, October 11, 2014
I should not even attempt to cut glass... ever.  Two ruined panes - then, and only then did I Google to find help. Could I not be any more of a blockhead?
I.think.not.
I would like to say I have learned, but the chances of that are slim to nowhere.  Good way to view:  My mistakes have provided me with plenty of material with which to practice.
Yeah. Right.
Plus, the last pane of the correct length I had let stand in the area where there are water drips from the ceiling.... Calcification spots - all over.  After trying to remove with a plethora of chemicals, I once again googled to find the proper antidote is ..... VINEGAR!!!!
Oh yes - did I mention that I needed to replace a pane of glass AFTER I had finally fit the last board in the set of windows... Yes... yes... staring me in the face was a big crack in the glass - I never noticed until after, yes after, I had nailed the board in place.
It all seems like small potatoes, but these processes (funny, processes....) take me hours....

I love the building so much.  So many lessons. I am such a dork.  And I love every minute of it.

Humbling.  Wonderfully.  Plus:  I am outside, in the sunshine, by a building I own.

I should just shut up already and get to work!

(laughing)

Love and Blessings - it's Sunday!!!

But mostly.....  I am sorry.  I am so thankful God.  I apologize for the wrong I have done in my life...  I am forever grateful for my life...

And Hope.

I hope....

It is ....life....  a grand adventure....a beautiful journey....

~stephanie

Friday, October 10, 2014.
Hmmm.  Amazing, the amount of thinking a person can accomplish while sweeping.  I began tonight's work with the intention of replacing panes in the metal-framed windows, but the night became surprisingly chilly.  The old caulk stubbornly stuck to the frames so much so no amount of chipping could clean them.  I was about to leave when I started to think..... and sweep.
Tomorrow = windows.
Blessings and Love,
~stephanie
....thank you...

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Hi.... 

 

I see the building every morning.  Each morning, lit by the low sun.  My first glimpse of it always, always makes me smile.  The sight of him as I round the same corner (because I am always running right to the minute!) - those bricks so straight and stately, which have stood, in the very place in which they were first laid, are whispers.

 

"Hope"

 

Just the sight of them with their quiet whisper, "Remember.  Hope."

 

How many bricks?  How many bricks, standing two levels above ground and one below, in seven thousand square feet of its own footprint, welcome me each morning?  There is no mistaken the whisper of the building's bricks because even though those bricks whisper, their sound is neither weak nor soft.

 

No.  No, those whispers are each of thousands of bricks....

 

Thousands.

Each morning.

"Hope".

 

What people do not understand is that I am not saving a building.

The building is saving me.

....

Or maybe I am the only one who did not understand?

 

Lesson number six gazillion from the building...

 

Thank you.  Love and Blessings.

~stephanie

Bricks...standing, in place where they were first placed... standing.

Whispering.

"Hope".



Wednesday, October 8, 2014....
It's actually early Thursday - very early.  The building and I had an insurance inspector look through the property.  All along the path I have come across people who have helped me;  in fact, 'help' does not do it justice.  He picked up the keys to the building, then came back to ask me questions.  Insurance companies do not typically like unoccupied buildings, not to mention sizeable ones.  Even though he was there for inspection, i.e., loss control, we talked of things like fire extinguishers.
My third set of glass replacement panes was ready!  And, last, I purchased a metal shelving unit to organize my tools.  Gasp!  I have found that I like my tools.... organized...
Not exactly my forte.  I have a habit of spreading out.  Driving me crazy.

Therefore, it seemed like a good night to get straightened up.  That and it was thirty-six degrees outside - too cold to paint or caulk.  And too late to be pounding nails.

I am tired.  A good tired.  A really, really good tired.

Love and Blessings.  Thank you!

~stephanie
Ps. I apologize. My writing... ugh.  I am.... dog-tired...