Yep, it has been that kind of week!
But it is all good. I am constantly amazed at life, and this week being an example, because it is true, that some of the best growth in a person's life comes out of the most difficult of times.. That, and that the lessons life hands you may not be the ones you signed-up for, but they are yours.
*sigh*
That is enough philosophy - it is the weekend! Time to yank out meaning and all that jazz by preparing windows for winter. Good news! Latest advice received on windows ~ any protection at all, any improvement at all will help with the winter and, most importantly, can last through one season. What a huge relief. I mean, I am willing to study products (silicone, acrylic or combination of the two for caulking), but I will be no expert in the next month. I know that. I just want to be reasonable. Do my best.
Get it done.
But it gets scary at moments, wondering if I am doing it at least 50% correctly. Or does it matter at all? I have my plan. I know the tasks I need to accomplish in order to protect the building for the winter. Yet, I wonder. All the time. Most of the time I can 'do' and 'wonder'. Sometimes though I forget the elephant principle.
I would not change anything though. I would not change what I am going through. I would definitely not change my experiences with the building.
I am...." over the moon" about it all...
.
It probably is glaringly obvious ~ the metaphoric resemblance of the building restoration to my life. Maybe in the scheme of the universe, maybe that is why, when it had sat unused for fifty years nearing demolition this year (listed as 'blighted property' last September! "Ugh!" I reply in the haughtiness of total disgust.... It was an armory and a school, for goodness sake!)
What was I saying?
Oh yes. Maybe that is why, in the grandness only known to God, for some reason, this building and my dream... collided. The lessons of the building? I did not even know I needed to know. You know? And it had to be a building...a seven-thousand-on-each-floor building, big enough to bring me down to size. I was, you could say, a.... chomp. Chump? Chimp? You know what I mean.
Clueless. Still am.
But the building has taught me the first and best of all lessons: Anything is possible when you follow your heart.
Over the summer my son and I drove out to South Dakota - an amazing road trip! It was "America" and "art" and the passion of individuals. The Crazy Horse monument by Korczak. My son said to me, "Mom I know what your mountain is... It's the building.". I only mention here because people say the mountain and Korczak's work changed him. There are drawings and plans he made, but his work changed who he was. He did not plan that.
I was amazed at what would cause a person, what kind of passion does God put in us, in each of us, to do such things? Many, many men.... to hang from a mountain way out in nowhere at the time... to carve four presidents' faces? What causes that passion? How about the passion of one, to not only work on those four faces, but then to carve another? Of a First Nation leader?
They followed their hearts. He followed his. That drumbeat no one knows but ones own soul, yes? It is amazing how messed up a person can get though. But, when you hear your own drumbeat?
Your mountain to carve might be a building. Might be baking a cake. Might be sweeping the floor...
Might be all the above.
(Side note, and of great comfort to me: Korczak was not a sculptor by training... Sometimes - and I wonder why - where our hearts lead us is far off the path for which we have prepared...)
Well, that is quite a beginning to the weekend. Happiness!
To God, to everyone who has been with me on this journey, I cannot thank you enough..
Love and Blessings....
~stephanie
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