December 31, 2014.
Oh, if walls could only talk;  if bricks could whisper and if only we could decipher time's messages captured in starlight.  If only.
And what if a year could tell tales?  What if a year such as 2014 could be summarized as one would hear a State of the Union address?  What would this year in the universe represent?  To all of us?
To me?
I have written here my life and the Matthias Building.  I am lying if I say it is only a building.  It is not.  Not to me.

2014.
What possible words could I conjure to paint the picture and what possible message would I wish to send?  What possibly could I wish to make anyone understand?  What would it matter anyway?  I tell you what.  My path has been a testimony to something greater than oneself.  I have never ever messed up, screwed up, rejoiced, fallen, dusted myself off, and risen so much as I have this past year.  I have done the most unbelievable things.  (Some I do not wish to own up to, to tell you the truth).  I have been stupid.  I have been wise.

I have learned.

And.....I probably have not learned sufficiently because I have a sneaky suspicion that my 'oops' moments are not a thing of the past.  But dear God, I would not change one moment.  Please note:  Would not wish to relive the exact stupidest moments either (yeah, I know).

In 2014 I began a business.  In 2014 I bought a building I love.  In 2014.....  In 2014 I spoke in front of city officials.  In 2014 I gave my first and hopefully only interview.

In 2014 I checked on a building almost daily.  In 2014 I scraped windows late at night.

In 2014 I fell flat on my face.  Many times.  Many, many times.

But I learned two big lessons among many, from this building.  (Did I mention this building I love is three floors in total, seven thousand square feet each floor for a total future taxable commercial entity of twenty-one thousand square feet?).  The first lesson was personal:  When you love something, when you are passionate-out-of-your-mind-don't-want-to-die-without-knowing,....well, I give it my all, in a case such as that.  I take pictures, daydream and do many foolish things.

And then.....Then, a person might just come up with a viable business plan, a proposal, and decide to fight for that vision.  Finally, a person might also just realize...a) a few people might wish to see you make it (jump up and click your heels - no, I am serious), b) a few people might not wish to see you make it (in such cases - see (a)...except.....jump up twice as high and show them and yourself that you can not only click your heels, but, because you have to anyway, you can not only click your heels, but glaze windows at the same time, thank you very much.

Most of all a person might realize that she falls in love with her dream over and over.  It's a good thing too because the path is long and without a map.  But I have heard those are the best kind of trips.

2014?  Thank you.  (I know...where is the second lesson?  There isn't a second.  There is only one....)

From this horrible photo, (photo quality doesn't matter - the outline caught my eye) when the snow fell, accumulating to a degree on the roof which outlined in white against the dark blue night sky, I saw what might be the look of the new roof.  I think it will be fine...

Happy New Year.  "Thank you" just does not seem to even come close to the gratitude I feel...

Love,
Stephanie at the Matthias Building

And, sometimes, I find life immensely satisfying as I look west, imagining - sometimes working at the same time, but thanking God for....huge sidewalks next to the most handsome building....ever...

December 25, 2014
Merry Christmas!
~ from the Matthias Building and I.

Monday, December 8, 2014.
A wise friend once told me, "Christmas comes.". Yes indeed.  The Christmas season is upon us... at the Matthias Building.
Love and Blessings,
Stephanie

Tuesday, November 25, 2014/Wednesday, November 26, 2014/Thursday...


Happy Thanksgiving!
Thankfully I lost my writing from the past few days.  As I stared at a miraculous blue pine cone which humbly sat before me, waiting to be graded, I daydreamed about the phone call... 

Then I realized, not with ribbon-cuttings or press releases, not with plans and perfection, but my business began when I called to commission Christmas cards from a local artist.  It was the relationship and the community to build and renovate.

And my dream is making it beautiful.

That will be my life.

Grateful for stumbles and successes...
~Stephanie
Love and Blessings!

(sometimes a miracle is a little blue pinecone...)

Sunday, November 23, 2014.
I took a walk.  On a foggy Sunday.  Down a street usually driven but hardly ever walked.  What a shame I had limited my view of the building to only one side of that same street and to Main Street.  Can't say what made me desire a cup of coffee on this Sunday morning.  A curiosity perhaps if I could find one, walking from the Matthias building.  Maybe the fog called to me, "Wander, see what you should see."
I did find that cup of coffee, an idea, and views.  I saw the building differently among its streets and the neighbors which stand with it.  Off Main Street and looking from the other way, I turned to see it "backwards".  Someone driving a car north on Genesee would not turn to look back... it's a one way going north.  It points you away. But if you do the 'rear view mirror' thing, you might be surprised.  There is beauty, not of prettiness, but a beauty of utility - of grind and grit.  There are rusty painted over details and decals among brick patterns and boarded-over arched windows hiding behind main streets and streets which lead to parks and trees and swings.
So I got my coffee.  And it was good. (A walk is always a good thing).

My Matthias

My absolute favorite view of the building.  This is what it is.... It is this. It is what my heart felt when I looked at it, opposite the direction of the street.... no one cared I was there... dreaming, quietly and intently... and of course, intentionally after spontaneity led me on a 'cup of coffee' walk this Sunday morning.
 

The picture shows Matthias.  I was stunned - stopped and silenced.  What did I just do?  What did I just see for the first time?  This is Matthias.  This is the vision (no, actually, I just added that - at the time all I could manage was a 'whoa'.  Seriously).

I apologize for not writing these ten or eleven days, but the time has done me well.  My goal was writing each day, in part due to gratitude and in part because even on the days which hold no news, there is news.  I never believed I would be owning a building much less dreaming and planning of a business.  Every day is a story in itself.  I did not wish to be selfish with the journey.  But there is something to be said of quality.  I have been writing 'old school' in the meantime and handling a whole host of life issues not unlike anyone has to handle all the time.

So my break was a time of wondering about quality writing, giving thanks, sharing, and bringing it all together honestly.  Because here, today, standing here.... that building is honest.  I cannot stand, in love with bricks and twenty-one thousand square feet of space, and pretend 'honesty'.  The building is.  It just is.  For ninety years.  I have drawn comparisons of its history to the story of my life....I still feel that way, but to not embrace all of it is a mistake.  On both sides of the comparison.  Because on both sides, there were mistakes, goof-ups, neglect, 'good-try-tap-on-the-back', tears, and all the rest...

But intentional pretense?  Nope.  Not with three floors of seven thousand square feet!  That is honest.  I aspire to a lack of posing.  I have a funny feeling that my success will be dependent upon the attainment of such a goal.  (Does not mean, however, that a person cannot dress-it up a bit...I mean, Matthias has to be decked out for the holidays!!)

The Street

 

I know, too many photos...Like life, I go overboard, I do this, I do that....I am ridiculous and serious or ridiculously serious or seriously ridiculous (you could see that one coming.... what was that I mentioned about 'pretense'?  Hmm. Out.the.window).

 

On both the Matthias Building and my life, there have been some grand moments as well as heartbreak and muck-ups.  Yes, grand happy moments.  My dreams are based upon both because even on the side of Matthias which is scarred by a neighbor's turkey fire more than a decade ago and is now the parking spot for a mammoth dumpster, I found a view.

 

 

I found that if I lean into the building to look up at the newly mortared chimney, there is a beauty from a far different view than if I looked at it yards away.  But you have to be willing to lean right tight against brick, then bend back.  Sometimes life is like that too.  You got to put it all in, then bend.

 



 

Matthias

 

 



With coffee to-go cup in hand, I walked 'home'.  There he is.  The view from Main Street... and the other side of Genesee.  I am not changing my mind as far as the front face of Matthias.  But his beauty is his whole character... And I never quite saw him as I did this morning...

 

 

May your Sundays and every day present you with the chance to take a walk...

 

Love and Blessings,

Thank you.

~stephanie


Wednesday, November 12, 2014
I am finding that I am learning more about the building as I put other things together.  It is an odd lesson, but astonishingly true. It makes me wonder at the validity - contrivance or truth? Doesn't matter. the building is the potter's wheel and the knowledge of brick and dreams and mission and the ultimate question:  Do you believe?

I again stood before it, closing my eyes to ask the question:  "do you believe, Steph?"

Yes, yes I do.

Thankfully, 

Love and Blessings from 419 West Main ~ the Matthias Building,

stephanie

Tuesday, November 11, 2014.
Snow.  Lots and lots of snow.  The building is handsome, especially so with his brick against the white. (I am loving the dream of how to decorate for the holidays...)
However, I am not there yet.  First, since he was an armory, I must say "Happy Veterans Day"!  A horrible coincidence that the celebrations of veterans today occurred on the day of the heaviest, stormiest November days.  Wisconsin.  A person could curse, but it is so doggone beautiful!  Winter in Wisconsin is a confirmation of God's blessings... and, the reminder to be humble and have a sense of humor.
And then.... you own a building...  Now, I always wondered at the budgets of municipalities.  Seriously.  All these years I found it peculiar, the dollars allocated to salt!  Until now.  It is a beautiful problem to have - how can I complain?  I cannot.  I own a building.  The building!  But along the way, there are those lofty dreams of what he is destined to become, the lessons of life I can draw metaphorically from those thousands and thousands of bricks representing a history of pride, attempts at resuscitation, and also, of neglect, and then, there are some pretty "in-your-face" type learning experiences.  I can go through twenty pounds of salt like nothing!
Those types of problems I like.

Another dose of the practical concerns:  The roof held!  I do not even know what to write or think as I wonder "What happens when it melts?" or "What happens with more snow?". A mind can imagine at least ten different scenarios.  The shoring wall will set my mind at ease.  Engineers are designing it for the sole purpose of distributing the weight.  Nothing fancy - just a "splint".
It still is lovely inside.  Toasty, blocking the wind.  I love walking around inside, dreaming of what he is destined to become.  The basement is wonderfully dry - Look!!

Dry, sturdy, strong.  Basement.  What to do with it?

 

 

Happy Veterans Day.  Happy Snow Day.  Happy...

 

Thank you.

 

Blessings and Love

~stephanie